I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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