you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize