Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize