Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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