what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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