Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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