I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
