ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Randomize
