i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
