I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize