Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
