I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
is it fun? or sober?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize