Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
