But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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