He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and she was petting her beer can
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize