She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
