Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
