I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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