After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
