the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You took a bar mat shot.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
