Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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