Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
