You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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