It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
