Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
