Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
