Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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