What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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