We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
