He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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