I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
