Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
