no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
