just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
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my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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