No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
