ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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