I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
