I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
