Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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