"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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