He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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