Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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