What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
