He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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