i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
