I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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