Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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