I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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