Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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