its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
