Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
