I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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