OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
