i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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