I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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