i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
