Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
