Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
