I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
