i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize