i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
